Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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