yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
