yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
