i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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