this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
