i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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