mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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