You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
