so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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