and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
