My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
