happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
