were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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