We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
