What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize