she looked like the before picture.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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