i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
