4 words: hood of his car
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
