if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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