Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
zippers are such a cool invention
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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