I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
