Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
