3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
