8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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