the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
