I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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