Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
