please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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