Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
