I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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