We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
