So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
