Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

I like to think it a success when the cops are called

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(208): View more from Idaho

i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.

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(905): View more from Toronto

Cure to hiccups..road head..high five

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(301): View more from Maryland

in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life

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(903): View more from Texas

He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...

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(515): View more from Iowa

Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit

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(989): View more from Michigan

we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious

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(804): View more from Virginia

i think ive been high everyday since ive met you

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