Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You made out with two different species that night
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize