doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize