I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
