Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize