Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Vodka?
Forever.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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