Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
