alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
