I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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