no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I got her a Nickelback box set.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just want to make out with him forever
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
