I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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