highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
