My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
