He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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