isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
