i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
