I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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