it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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