Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
40s are totally the cure
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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