We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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