Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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