Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
