sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the day after is always just damage control
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
