Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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