My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize